Jon Dorsy wuz tarred. Dog tarred. Heed bin up ever since thay found th plack yestidy mornin, n already it wuz dusk. Th simbology of th plack wuz gettin to him, n he jess couldnt thank any mor. He got up n went out of th tent, streched n glancd at th kamp ware th kooktent wuz waftin wunnerful smells on th breez. He climbd th hill overlookin th kamp, n gaizd out at th luvly green wooded hills sroundin th pufeckly cirkular bay.

Th bay wuz formd bout too thousan yeers ago wen th city of Nyawck wuz stroyd by God fer it's lasivius n immoral aktivitees. Th krater formin th bay wuz kreated by th bolt of fury that plungd Mairka into a thousan yeers of Darkness han to mouff servival, struglin n feer of th gangs hoo kontinud to roam th lan, robbin, killin, n rapin to punish mankin fer thare kontinud sins genst LorJeez. Th humen race wuz almose sterminatd but fer isoladed pockits of fritened servivors hoose stedfas beleef in LorJeez wuz th only thang that kept them live. Thair kerage n morals becam th foundashun fer th New Age peepls hoo look to th stars n th star peepl fer help. If it wern't fer th Glathins, therd be nobuddy leff, n Jon woodenuv bin abl to go to th Peliades to study undr thare stoowardship. Thay were hily tellgent peepl, n Jon wishd that he wer abl to go back. Meera wuz so wunnerful, he even wishd he were a Glathin, but that wuz impossbl.....

Jon wuz an arkiologist tryin to figger out how th Mairkans livd befor th Darkness. Wat kausd th downfall of thair parently prosperus sivilzashun to greed, selvishness, n imerality. Th New Age peepls live in th konstunt gloooory of LorJeez hoos nam n deeds r loss to currunt memry, but hoos Saints: Kendy, King n Gates preservd th ideels of th religun.

Everthang now volves roun th Church, but, th queshtyon cums round agen, how did th Mairkans liv in th tim of th three Grate Saints thout th nollege of thare grateness? How kood thay possbly be ignerunt of such ideels?

Th Church is now th centrul fokus of lif. Its laws drekt everthang frum govmint, to wat, wen n how you eat; konduk insid n outsid th hom. Inkludin EVERTHANG sex, higeene, clothin. If you ware somthang th preests dont like, even if twas bot at th church stor, you ar "LOSST", n go to hel. Som of Jon's frens wen to hel. They cam bak strang n disstunt. He wunnerd wat happnd to them. He shivrd in spite of th hot sun on hiz bak.

Now Jon has to figger out th meenin of th grate plack that th diggrs hav skoverd. It is of a badly korroded medl kovrd by anothr substunse which wuz, at th tim, brighty kolerd, but is now streemly dull, subdood, n staind almost instingwishabl kolers. It reveels, however, three innerlacd sirkles. Somethang is ritten round th sirkles, but th words have long sinse bin blideraded n faded. Thar is also a larg word blow th simbul, but th bottum of th plack has bekum so weathrd that th kovrin has peeld, leevin only th very tops of watever letturs thare wer.

As Jon lookd out ovr wat wuz wuns a stremely larg city, but now reducd to tree koverd hills of rubl, he trid to magin how th peepl thar livd n werkd. He trid to gnor hiz deeply relighus edjewkashun n uze hiz limitd nollege of wat th thots of th peepl befor th Darkness wer, but everthang he kam up with had s om relighus conexshun th trinty of th three Saints (Kendy, King n Gates)?

Th three parts of govmint at th tim; Zekutive, Dishal, n Greshnal? That wuz th bess gess that he kould thank of. He wuz zausted, n cided to go bak to hiz tent fer a nap. He wuz too tired to show up fer diner, n too tird to kare if th preests becam angry fer that. As Jon walkd bak tward hiz tent, he herd th preests singin a slow hym bout th sinners hoo shot saints Kendy n King, n hiz mind wanderd, as it offen did to thos ainshunt days, n he wonderd how th Mairkans livd, dressd, thot n spok. He lookd at hiz brown fas in th mirr n wunnerd how thay wor thair hair speshuly sins no terran now has any hair. As he klimd into bed, he wunnerd wat hair felt lik.

Th day wuz murky n dark. Jon walkd thru a strang city with tall raveen like streets, n nois! Wat an awful racket deep rumblins frum th urth that shook lik an urthqwake; trumputs blarin from uge britely kolerd waguns that movd all by thamselfs thout dogs pullin them; shoutin frum many, many peepl of difrunt kolers, hoo talkd, skreemd, n kareed big blak boxs that blard nois that sounded vagely lik very stridunt music. He ran into a dark doorway that offerd som scape frum th eer shattrin nois. Thar wer mor peepl, togethr with a lot of terrbl smellin smok. Th peepl wer lafin, arguwin, shoutin, talkin. A larg britely kolerd masheen stood in th korner blarin mor bumpin, skreemin music. Mor nois! Thar wuz wun man hoo wuz kleenin th long tabl that ran long th sid of th room. He lookd as if he ownd th hous, n Jon askd wat's happenin. Th man lookd strangly at him n said that he wuz in Jim's Tavern, n that heed lots of werk to do, would he lik somthin kold to drank? Jon kwikly noded, n wuz handed a mug fild with a kold goldn likwid toppd by wite foam. As he sippd at th foam, tastin its kold bitterness, he glansd up, n saw a garishly paintd sine with three interlacd rings, th words: "Purity, Body, and Flavor" blazond within th confins of each sirkle. At th bottom, wuz a large werd: "Ballantine," n underneeth that, wuz anuther werd: "Beer."

Jon woke up with a smil on hiz fase, sekure in th nollege that th plack wuz not a relighus simbul as all th preests, other arkiologists, n skolars had assumd, but simply an ad fer a bitter alcolic brew.