One of my near and dear once spent an hour in a
therapist's office kicking an innocent throw pillow around
the room and screaming out rage at his abusive father.
At the end of the hour, he had a broken foot -- and the
first beginnings of a healed mind.
But we have learned that magic works through
symbols. Calling an object by your abuser's name and
then abusing that object is sympathetic magic used for
the purpose of cursing. To throw a curse is to project
one's worst feelings out into the world of form, and to
invoke upon oneself the inevitable karmic feedback.
It is not our way to blast the crops and sour the milk.
Wiccan tradition and plain common sense both tell us to
avoid the practice of baneful magic. But, as usual, it's not
quite as easy as just saying no.
Rape and child abuse, loved ones killed by muggers
or drunk drivers, emotional manipulation and betrayal,
economic exploitation and dishonest office politics -
people hurt and victimize other people in many different
ways every day. We are not immune.
At some point in our lives, probably every single one
of us will feel violated by some other human being. Often
our feelings will be based in fact. Whether they are or
not, however, we need and deserve a safe way to
discharge them.
Symbolic baneful actions are also cathartic actions.
They drain and clear our poisonous feelings and allow
our own emotional healing to begin. If we deny
ourselves this outlet, what happens to the grief and pain
and rage?
If projection is bad for us, introjection is even worse.
Unreleased bad feelings are a major source of stress. In
a very real sense, stress cripples and kills. Ulcers, strokes,
heart attacks and more are all heavily stress-related. A
simple refusal to engage in baneful magic could easily
amount to punishing a victim by adding serious illness to
the original harm.
I am part of the All. "An it harm none" is about me
too. Release of my feelings is my right.
At first it seems like an insoluble paradox. But the
same understanding of magic that forbids projection of
our bad feelings can open a safe channel for those
feelings. Here's one possible form:
Think about the Alcoholics Anonymous prayer. People
of any religion can recognize the wisdom it contains.
Here it is in a Pagan adaptation: "May the Gods help me
find within myself the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change, courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference." This ritual
is intended to ease emotional pressure. I believe that is a
step towards granting all three of those things to ourselves.
If your hurt is ongoing, you must take steps to stop it -
leave the abusive relationship, begin searching for a new
job, begin organizing politically to stop your oppression.
What good this Circle does you will be temporary at best
if you are not acting on both the magical and material
planes to change the things you can change.
But some of our pain comes from old, old injuries.
And some of our feelings are not based on fact at all.
The source of those hurts cannot be changed, but the
pain can be. This particular working is to release any bad
feelings, not to judge them.
Don't worry about justice. You may be mistaken
about who has hurt you, but nobody will be hurt by what
we do here. All energy will be contained within the
Circle. The object of this working is healing, not justice.
You deserve this healing simply because you hurt, and
even if you are mistaken.
Prevention and healing are human tasks; to do them
is to change the things we can change. Justice - the
evening of karmic balances - is the business of the Gods,
and may take place across a span of many lifetimes.
Karmic balance is a thing we cannot change.
You have some decisions to make. The first one is
whether you will work alone or ask one or more trusted
friends to witness and facilitate your working. Some of
us can only let our feelings go in strict privacy. For
others, the presence of people who will make sure we
don't hurt ourselves or our homes removes a source of
inhibition. And sometimes simply being heard is part of
the release process.
Next, exactly what kind of symbolic action will release
your feelings? Will kicking a throw pillow suffice, or do
you need to actually make a poppet? Or just screaming
may be enough. If you want to work with a physical
symbol, prepare it in advance, and be sure not to use
anything you will want to keep after the rite or ever use
again.
Figure out whether you can either cast a Circle to
include your bathroom, or leave a cast Circle for a
period of time. This will depend on your particular
training. If possible, have a warm scented tub waiting for
you. If not, a basin of warm scented water and a
washcloth within easy reach just outside of your Circle
will suffice. Also, a ritual meal should be prepared and
waiting outside of Circle, and this should include
something green and growing - I favor sprouts - and
something sweet.
The final part of any effective magical working is
"acting in accordance" on the material plane. By doing
this, we give the magic a channel through which to
manifest. For this working, there are three forms of
follow through, and all are important.
Thinking about action to change your life in the
here and now is perfectly OK. The problem is reiteration
of old feelings of frustration and helplessness that actually
impede change.
Home
Preparation:
Procedure:
Follow Through:
Page
Pour Down Like Silver
Last Updated: May 1999 ce